Staff Dinners
It’s a sore subject….
Nothing annoys chefs more than cooking for the staff. Over the years I have had to eat some God awful creations made by trainee chefs and annoyed chef de parties. It’s a thankless task, nobody appreciates the time constraints to do something decent and then when you do they moan because it’s fresh vegetables and not chips and then they blame the chefs for having a fat arse because it’s chips for staff dinner. But it’s not the chips girls, it’s the lack of excercise and the cakes and sweets you bring into work with you every day.
I confess to having little patience for the moaners, it’s fresh food and it’s free. Don’t tell me you can’t eat white meat or dairy products because you’re pregnant, I don’t care. Why? because you smoke. Yes, it has got tomatoes in it, is the chilli spicy? Go figure. What’s in the pies? Pig’s spleen and arsenic. Is it pork? No, it’s lamb. Will I like it? You tell me. What’s it called? It’s called that or nothing…..
More often than not it’s the chefs who wind each other up, I usually start it and leave them bickering with each other. Here’s my German sous chef, Tom who has taken a lot of stick about his staff omelettes in the past. You might think the edges are burnt but you would be wrong, they’re caramelised 
Don’t let ‘em grind ya down Tom!
Thomas Kramer demonstrating how Germany could have won the war by inflicting his staff omelette on the enemy…..
Thomas Kramer’s Staff Omelette!
What a great read - LOL - dreadful phrase but I did
It’s hard top understand the equation:
free food+cooked by someone else=moaning
December 13, 2009 @ 8:15 am
Rod,
LOL is banned on here-doh! I’ve just typed it.
Miles
December 13, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
Miles,
That’s one hell of an omelette… not sure I’ve ever seen anything quite like it. How many chefs portions is he holding? In my terms that should feed about 25! How kind of Thomas to smile for the camera, he looks very relaxed while holding what can only be described as ostrich egg surprise
I’ve spent a while this afternoon lecturing my father on the finer points of macaron making and how they differ from macaroons. I lost him somewhere between ‘the foot’ and ‘flowing like magma’ but he scoffed one and said he liked it because it tasted good and I’d made it for him. That’s always been the way of things in my family, it’s useless blinding them with science.
Good food and free… someone else cooking it for you… sounds like a dream to me.
Cid
December 13, 2009 @ 6:37 pm
Cid,
I think I was the only one who ate it in the end! It had eggs in it and I was off to the gym so I ate it and thought of England
Your Dad is a lucky man, just like mine!!
Miles
December 13, 2009 @ 10:06 pm
In my twenties I worked at a ski lodge right on the mountain in Taos Ski Valley, New Mexico. It was owned and run by a French ex-national ski team member and his chef (chef Claude, Anne and Cid, remember him from an old post of mine). Claude used to make the most bizarre omelletes similar to this one of chef Thomas’. I remember Claude making an omelette for the staff early one morning that had French fries embedded in it. Old French fries. One of the young men (snow shoveler, fire maker, luggage hauler, etc.) yelled into the kitchen about how weird the omellete was and — oh my gosh, that charming French chef came totally unglued. I can still recall the sound of pots flying and French cuss words!
Very clever post, Miles. I love your “conversation” with the moaners. And the girls. You’re so right though. I work with clients who can’t seem to figure out how they’ve gained so much weight. It can’t be the 4 donuts and 3 lattes for breakfast. Or the 2 candy bars before lunch. Or the 4 margaritas after work. Or, like you said, the lack of exercise.
:-)
It’s always so entertaining over here! Go, Thomas, go!
Melissa
P.S. Is there gluten in that omellete? Hey, just asking.
December 17, 2009 @ 11:49 am
Melissa,
You should have seen the amount of cakes and fizzy drinks the girls had in the back office today, made me feel ill just looking at it.
Like the story about the chef, can just picture that
Miles
December 17, 2009 @ 8:28 pm