Food on Valentine’s Day
The do’s and don’ts for any self respecting chef
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, for the ladies I hope that you are spoilt with flowers, chocolates and the like and to your partners, your efforts justly rewarded 
In the chef world Valentine’s Day means a lot of tables of two all wanting to eat early, or for those who can’t wait until after dinner, late. Either way it’s a pain in the a**e. The people I feel sorry for are the business men and women who are away from home and want to eat something without feeling like a complete lemon because they are on their own. With this in mind and the fact that I find it very annoying I always write a menu that is big on flavour and short on slushy, bilious descriptions.
Anyone who still writes a menu using the words/terms; ‘duo’, ‘pool of’, ‘heart shaped’, ’scented’, ‘exotic’ or, barf, ’melting’ should be tried by a kangaroo court and shot at dawn, no mercy.
If you see asparagus on the menu then steer clear, it isn’t the aphrodisiac that everyone says it is, why? because it’s not in season! I’m no romantic killjoy, far from it, but for the love of Mary (?) stop writing menus which treat the adult diner like a lovestruck fourteen year old. The chances are fifty percent of them are on their second marriage!
So if you are eating out tonight and see ‘A duo of meltingly tender meats carved upon a mirror of red wine sauce’ then the chances are that the chef has written the menu and the Barbara Cartland wanabee in the front office has singularly destroyed his reputation with a few choice changes. If, when you get to the dessert menu it says ‘Chocolate lover’s French Kiss’ or the like, then it’s out of the freezer, no question about it.
Happy Valentines’s 
Miles,
. I bet you don’t need one official day in a year to show your love. It is presented daily on a plate. Happy Every Day Valentine.
No messing or romantic nonsense from you then - ace one
Christine
February 14, 2008 @ 9:21 am
Miles,
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Thanks for your blog
We all love you
Elsie
February 14, 2008 @ 9:29 am
Miles,
This is what I found connected to Valentine’s Day… In Japan and Korea, Valentine’s has become almost an obligation for women to give chocolates, known as giri-choco, to all of their co-workers. A reciprocal day on 14th of March known as White Day has emerged in recent times whereby men are supposed to thank those who remembered them on Valentine’s Day with white chocolate or marshmallows, hence white day. In Korea there is an additional Black Day, held the following month on the 14th of April, for less fortunate men who did not receive gifts on Valentine’s Day to gather together to eat Jajangmyun, Chinese style black noodles topped with a black sauce.
I must wish you a happy White Day and hope the Black Noodles days are few
Cid
February 14, 2008 @ 11:33 am
Elsie,
Very kind, thankyou.
February 14, 2008 @ 4:50 pm
Cid,
Noodles it is then!
Very interesting comment, thankyou.
Miles
February 14, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
Miles
is it too late to book a table for one ?
Rod
February 14, 2008 @ 6:23 pm
Rod,
It was a bloody poor do this end as well. I thought someone somewhere might have spent a couple of quid on me. That said, it’s not all doom and gloom, my bhut jolokia’s have germinated. Now that’s a result
Miles
February 14, 2008 @ 10:53 pm
Miles,
my bhut jolokia’s have germinated
This is a known issue for bachelors - consult you’re doctor asap
Rod
February 15, 2008 @ 8:06 am
Rod,
I’ll be consulting him after I’ve eaten one
Miles
February 15, 2008 @ 8:31 am