Back Ache and Nettle Stings
A hard day’s graft in the kitchen garden
My kitchen garden is about the length of a football pitch, at the entrance stands a border of cardoons, there is a path the length of the garden with pathways dividing the individual beds. The pathway is lined with salad burnet, thyme, savory, borage, feverfew and catmint. Two large bushes of fennel; bronze and green stand between the fruit bushes and the polytunnel. The garden is divided in two, seperated by plum, apple and pear trees, there is an area for different varieties of sage, campion and angelica, another for artichokes and chard, a recently dug over potato bed lies dormant until the spring whilst another awaits a planting of wild garlic seeds in the autumn.
Despite the wettest English summer since whenever when, the ground is now rock solid, digging is a non starter so today was a day for cutting back, cutting down and raking out. A bonfire turned the previously cut and left to dry grasses into a nice ash which shall be duly returned to the soil, nothing is left to waste.
I am blessed with having a contact for wood chippings, a quick phone call later and I am the grateful recipient of a lorry load of fresh chippings which I scatter along the pathways to keep the weeds down and my shoes dry in winter and spring (and now summer!) The sight of a huge pile of donated chippings is an impressive thing, until I realise I have to transport it by ancient wheelbarrow to the other end of the garden.
I spend the next three hours filling the barrow with chippings and my lungs with the bellows of smoke that has now wafted my way thanks to the change in wind direction that goes hand in hand with me lighting a fire or trying to take a macro photograph of a herb.
In between the sweating and grunting I pause to contemplate the comparison between myself and the new and improved green fingered Jamie Oliver. He’s got a kitchen garden as well, he does it all himself too-yeah right! I fight on, there is a nettle bush in a corner which I used to pick to make a puree for a terrine at work, it’s past its best so I cut it back and sting myself accordingly. I want to run home to mother for chamomille lotion and a glass of ribena. I remember she lives forty five miles away so tough it out, the ribena will, with the grace of god (and a visit to Tesco) turn into St Emillion. I feel better.
My back can take no more, It had a particularly heavy workout at the gym at seven thirty this morning so I stagger back to my car smelling like an Arbroath smokie, wishing I was Jamie Oliver minus the bodyfat.
Here’s my wood chip chariot, note the plastic frame to double the barrow’s capacity and my back pain. I’ll shift between thirty or forty of those to cover half the garden’s paths.
Miles,
What do you do with your Angelica? It looks statuesque and I like it but there must be some use for it other than candied stems?
Cid
p.s. fancy any lemon balm? I’ve always got masses of the stuff. Makes a calming tea so they tell me … for stressed out chefs
September 5, 2007 @ 8:49 pm
Cid,
I’ve cooked angelica as a buttered vegetable but wasn’t particularly enthralled. We sometimes cook it with rhubarb to give the rhubarb another dimension and we’ve added it to jams and jellies. Apparently it makes a tea infusion but I’ll take their word for it.
Thanks for the offer of the lemon balm, I’ve got both varieties though and yes it does make for an excellent tea.
Miles
September 5, 2007 @ 9:01 pm
Miles
How to avoid back ache in the future - organise friend(to come to learn about herbs etc, get them shovelling and feed them home produce. Convince them of the health aspects of exercise, fresh air and the taste of home grown food.
Could go on into the evening sitting near your fire, playing guitar and drinking your St. Emillion
September 5, 2007 @ 10:08 pm
Christine,
Good idea! not sure if anyone would fall for it especially once the digging commenced! The dark evenings are almost upon us once again so the fire will go on and the St Emillion will come to temperature accordingly-not sure I want to share said bottle with anyone in particular!
Miles
September 5, 2007 @ 11:43 pm
I thought you were meant to be in shape
Perhaps the Dorian Yates powders are non-beneficial when it comes to digging !
Seriously though, you have the biggest KG (as we kitchen gardeners say) I have seen, were my yield per square foot not so high I’d be jealous
Dig for Victory !
Rod
September 6, 2007 @ 9:08 am
Miles,
I’m with Christine … get everyone together for the annual shovelling! We won’t want wine although scrumping might be on the cards so keep a close watch on the more dodgy individuals
After all what is a man without a personalized wheelbarrow?
Cid
p.s. the female mind would naturally favour a sit-on lawnmower with trailer, complete with compartment for lip salve and hair brush
September 6, 2007 @ 11:01 am
Miles & Cid,
I feel Halloween at the farm coming on.
Chestnuts and potatoes roasted in the fire, toffee apples and chocolate Williams Pears with a Williams Pear Schnaps to keep us warm - in the Spirit of things, you understand.
September 6, 2007 @ 7:03 pm
Rod,
The Dorian Yates range as impressive as it is doesn’t allow for extra training such as gardening. Having seen your ‘river cottage’ I would be more than happy with it-there’s a lot less digging to be done!
regards
miles
September 6, 2007 @ 7:18 pm
Cid,
I think I might have to consider your application very carefully-there’s little room for Diva’s on my plot!
Miles
September 6, 2007 @ 7:19 pm
Christine,
Sounds like a plan! I’ll get the chimenea cranked up-ask Cid to bring the marshmellows!
Miles
September 6, 2007 @ 7:21 pm
Christine,
I love Halloween, carving lanterns etc. Last years was my best effort todate so expectations will be high. Someone please remind me to carve first then have a schnaps … I need all my wits about me before I tackle the Mona Lisa
Cid
September 6, 2007 @ 7:29 pm
Cid,
Wish I’d known-I would have donated a particularly fine ‘Turks Turban’ squash which I grew last year.
Schnapps and knives do not go hand in hand!
Miles
September 6, 2007 @ 7:34 pm
Cid,
You stick with the carving and I stick with the Schnaps, just to be on the safe side. Will it be garden forks for broomsticks? Miles will be at the ready with his top Cannon Camera and the guitarr renditions will ward off any evil spirits that may be about. No tricks, of course, only treats.
September 6, 2007 @ 8:23 pm
Oh, Poor Miles!!!
I truly feel your pain, having done the wheel barrow thing myself. I have haul the shredded bark, top soil, compost, gravel, plants, bricks, a water feature (that one nearly killed me), a statue, a bird bath, stands to hold the three thousand umbrellas I use to cover my patio. While the exercise was a very good for me (the idea being “that which does not kill you, is good for you.”), there were times when I wondered what in heaven’s name a 60 year old women was doing working like a bloody idiot.
Press on, Hercules, press on.
Annie
September 6, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
Miles,
What no Turks Turbans this year? I’m not ready yet mind you, these things require time, imagination and perseverance. All that’s left in my garden worthy of sculpting is a large courgette, leaving very little to the imagination
… I shall be ostracized from the WI yet again!!
Cid
September 6, 2007 @ 9:00 pm
Christine,
Strange you should mention broomsticks … I have a particularly fine one and shall arrive on it with grim determination and no doubt a few splinters! What worries me is Miles’ guitar renditions … I should be grateful if he would stick to the Chris Rea stuff rather than his predilection for Motorhead. Mind you after a few pints of Schnapps I won’t know the difference!
You create a diversion and I’ll try to avoid the polytunnel in my carefully measured descent …
Cid
September 6, 2007 @ 9:16 pm
Annie,
There was I thinking you would employ some hot young graduate to do your gardening in the California sunshine! There must be plenty of hard up surfer types looking for some extra cash to pay for their new boards?
Place an advert saying you are a stones throw from the beach-that should do it!
Miles
September 6, 2007 @ 10:17 pm
Cid,
Your talent for sculpture is wasted at the W.I., give them up and join a coven instead-I hear they are far more receptive to strangely chiselled legumes than the aforementioned. If you can drink a pint of schnapps then you belong backstage at a Motorhead gig-I long suspected you were a rock chick at heart!
Miles
September 6, 2007 @ 10:30 pm
Miles,
Tis a curse to be born with rock chick hair especially now at my age! This season I shall be looking for a long length Motorhead top, possibly V neck in fine quality black cotton to match my existing wardrobe for daytime socializing (lunching with the girls) and general hell raising
Cid
p.s. wonder if they do a termal lined version for winter with matching slippers?
September 7, 2007 @ 12:46 pm
Cid,
I’ll look out for suitable merchandising at the next concert…will a t-shirt do if all else fails?
Miles
September 7, 2007 @ 6:40 pm
Miles,
A normal T-shirt would have to look good on say, Nigella, before it gets anywhere close to me! See what sizes they have … usually s, m, l, xl and holy @*@*, the latter being ideal as a rule
Cid
September 7, 2007 @ 8:02 pm
Nettle Stings - I think its a “Doc Leaf” you rub on nettle stings, and it works, I can remember getting stung as a child.
All you have to do is grab a Doc Leaf, which is a weed, rub it on the sting and that’s it, no more sting.
September 10, 2007 @ 5:24 pm
SC,
Typical that, Doc is about the only weed I don’t have to contend with.
Thanks for the advice.
Miles
September 10, 2007 @ 7:19 pm